Right Sight
by Scottea
Summary: What is seen is not always what is really seen and sometimes the past shows how the future sometimes misses something. Thanks to Paramount for allowing me to play with their characters in my own world.
1. Chapter 1

He had been isolated before. Medically and even, from time to time, on various planets but not like this. Never like this. Just on the other side of that door life aboard the ship went on as usual. The crew would all be doing their duties. The ship. The crew. Not his ship. Not his crew. He was on this ship and his ship was flying parallel with it as they headed to Starbase Four where he would stand trial for breaking the Prime Directive.

Since Captain Gavin Alliness had placed him under arrest after Hyterra Two he had been in these quarters. He was brought three meals a day, had access to an ablution area, there were provisions for up to eight cups of coffee a day, and his one contact was Captain Alliness. All he knew about the Enterprise was that Spock was in command and the Enterprise had accompanied them back to Starbase Four. He was not allowed to talk with any of his crew.

All he could do was to relive that moment over and over. It was sometimes in slow motion and other times almost as fast as it had happened. They had beamed down to try to make first contact. Standard procedure. The location had shown no sign of local inhabitants. Captain Alliness had beamed over with one of his Security Officers to beam down with him and one of his Security Officers as Alliness would be in more regular contact with Hyterra Two. At first it seemed routine. There was no sign of life. They had taken perhaps sex steps from the beam down site when ten locals had come out of hiding and one had what appeared to be an old fashioned crossbow aimed at them and a second had fired an arrow that narrowly missed him but struck his Security Officer in the thigh. It had been an instinctive reaction. He had drawn and fired his phaser on stun.

He had given the command to beam down. He had been the one to produce and fire a weapon. He had used his communicator to get them beamed up. All were instances where the locals were shown technologies not known before. They had beamed back onto the Enterprise, Spock was given command of the Enterprise, was acting Captain, and then he had been beamed over to Alliness's ship and brought to these quarters that had been stripped of all communications systems.

All those years of training, all those other first contacts. They had scanned the area. There had been no sign of natives. The area should have been clear. How he hated not being able to talk with Spock, hated not being able to talk through the whole thing with him as there had to be something he was missing.

Just for a moment he smiled, he had no doubt that McCoy and Spock would be having many heated arguments. He also wondered how they would be dealing without him there: they would be concerned in their own way and he only hoped they could work together to help each other. There was no doubt that McCoy was the best doctor in the fleet and not another officer could match Spock's multitude of abilities. McCoy had the ability to thoroughly understand how another felt and Spock seemed to fully comprehend how another might react under given circumstances even if he did not understand why. Them working together to solve a problem was something to behold, like fire on water. He just hoped that connection they had would not fracture, that they would manage to somehow get through this together.

Uhura, Scootty, Sulu, and Chekov would be there to referee, to keep his ship together and his two best friends from killing each other. One of the things that had been drummed into him at the Academy was the way crew relied on one another and when he became a Captain he had been so often been told not to get close to his bridge crew, to remember they were his crew and part of his ship, and to know that if they were not killed under his captaincy then they, of he, would be transferred, that it was always best for a captain not for form friendships with the crew. "By all means be sociable with them but keep that professional distance at all times." It had been what he had heard so many times.

He had seen other captains who were that way and he had, when first given the Enterprise, thought about it. It was the reception he had received from those six as individuals and a collective that made him feel part of a family again. Now he just hoped that family would get along without him. He had broken the Prime Directive. He had exposed a primitive culture to superior technology for his own purposes. He would be court martialed. His career was over. He had lost his ship, his family. Family. No, more than that. He had lost those two other parts that made him whole.

He should have requested beam up as soon as the natives showed up. He would still have breached the Prime Directive but not broken it as he had using his phaser. He should have waited.

He had paced the quarters he was given. They were no different from the one he had had on the ship on his return journey. Not the standard prison cell. The sleeping alcove was fourteen paces from the door, the ablution area seventeen paces and the desk and chair only seven.

All the way to Starbase Four those thoughts kept repeating, replaying, in his mind. Even when they arrived at Star Base Four he had not been allowed to contract any of his crew. As none of them had been directly involved and they were barred from attending the initial hearing and were given leave.

It was, he knew, for the best as he could only imagine how Bones and Spock would react to what was to come. He was told on the second day at the base that there would be a three week wait for two senior officers to arrive from Command who had stated they wanted to be there. He had also been told that Spock had taken the Enterprise out on a shakedown and test flight after Chief Engineer Scott had made some modifications.

Over the last two weeks Captain Alliness and the two Security Officers had given their reports and Kirk had given his. He had read and reread them. Nothing. They were exactly as had happened. Alliness's one and his Security Officer's report were alike. The report from the injured Enterprise Security Officer was slightly different in that his ended with the impact of the arrow into his thigh.

It had been a civilization using crossbows and he had used a phaser. He had had them beamed out when the civilization would have possibly not seen such a thing before. The Prime Directive.

There had been just that moment in the transporter room, after the injured officer had been taken away and before he was transported to Alliness's ship, when he had seen Bones and Spock. There had been no words but the looks he got from them said so much to him. Allines had simply said, "Captain Kirk is under arrest for breaking the Prime Directive. Mister Spock, you will return to Star Base Four as acting captain of the Enterprise. I will attest to the possibility that Captain Kirk may have over-reacted but he did break the Prime Directive. Transport us to my ship."

Now he wondered if he had read the looks right. While Spock had handled the controls Bones had quickly looked from him to Spock and back to him and nodded. It was reassuring to know Bones would keep watch on Spock and when Spock had looked up at him there was no mistaking the sideward glance he gave McCoy which let him know Spock would keep an eye on Bones

Just as the beam took him he wondered about that question he saw about Spock's eyes. It had been the look he got whenever Spock had some hypothesis he wanted to check out. In almost an instant he knew it would be that the Vulcan did not believe what he had done yet he had done it. In that almost instinctive reaction he had broken the Prime Directive.

He knew that the Enterprise would be back in less than a week so that the senior crew could attend his trial. At that time Spock would definitely be offered captaincy of the Enterprise and Kirk wondered how he would respond. In all the years he had known Spock he had seen what an exceptional captain he would be and yet he had never sought promotion to be the commanding officer. He had no doubt that the others would, in their own ways, try to make him accept the offer when it was given, they would want to stay the cohesive unit they had become.

Three week wait for the hearing cum trial. A full court martial would be held back at Star Fleet Command.. Twenty-one days of reliving that split second and what it meant. How sure he had been he had seen an old-fashioned rifle and not the crossbow. Allines's First Officer, Stefan Koprah, had been down only a few hours before them to verify that there were no advanced weapons; he had gone down as he was one of Star Fleet's top situation assessors. Alliness had agreed to it as it was just a five minute down time and the man's report would be more accurate than what they had seen. He had reported caves but no sign of inhabitants.

Yes, the natives could have been hiding deep in the caves. They had not had time to really study too much of their surroundings before the attack. They could have been in the caves but the scans would have detected life forms. No. There had been times in the past when they had discovered on other planets, something in the minerals of the planet that the scanners could not penetrate. But Koprah did his inspection and said there was nothing in the caves and he was known for reporting if even one blade of grass or one slightly out-of-place pebble looked suspicious and aborting a landing party. If there had been any sign of the natives he would have seen it.

For almost fifteen days Kirk had spent reliving that moment and wondering how his friends were coping, how things were on his ship. He had been told that he would be able to have supervised visits with his former crew if they returned prior to the court-martial but that there had been no word from them after they had left.

It had been shortly after Kirk had beamed off the ship that McCoy looked at the silent Vulcan beside him, "Well, Spock, looks like you are in command. What do we do now? You do know that Jim had to have had a reason, don't you? We can't just do nothing."

For a moment the Vulcan was silent then looked at McCoy, "Doctor McCoy, I am aware I am now in temporary command of the Enterprise. I am also aware that Jim Kirk would have had a reason for his actions despite his often impulsive tendencies. What we are going to do is take the Enterprise out on a shakedown trip to ensure Mister Scott's modifications not only have merit but add to the efficiency of the Enterprise. We will return in time for the trial."

"It leads to a court-martial, Spock. A court-martial is a helluva lot worse than a trial."

"I am aware of that, Doctor. I imagine that you got some fresh medical supplies while we have been at Star Base Four.

"Of course I have. What does that have to do with,"

"I suggest you return to SickBay and prepare for our shakedown trip."

For a moment McCoy just looked at the Vulcan and rocked on his heels, gradually calming down as he looked at the man he knew so well and realized that the Vulcan was planning something. "Right." was all he said before he nodded and left the silent man who had returned his gaze to the empty platform. So many times McCoy had felt sorry for Jim and the weight of command but as he took one last look at Spock he realized he felt even sorrier for the Vulcan, to care as much as he did and not being able to openly show it, to be able to think on so many levels at one time.

Once McCoy had left Spock stood still for ten point nine minutes. He had seen that look on Jim's face that showed uncertainty. Although Captain Alliness had to have been certain about what had happened to make the charges he knew James Kirk as well as he knew himself and he was certain that the matter warranted investigation and a shakedown trip was just what was needed to get them there, allow him time to investigate the actual site himself, and return with fifteen hours to spare. He would not allow the others to become involved in the decision to return as there was the possibility of whoever was behind this would also attack their careers.

Mister Scott was down in Engineering looking at what he had proposed to do and only just finished as the thought of the ship without Jim Kirk as captain did not feel right. It had surprised him with Spock walked in and looked around, "I see that you have finished your modifications. We will be leaving on a shakedown trip in two hours and fourteen minutes. I trust it will do what you believe it will." and left. The Scotsman shook his head. As rough as it was on the rest of the crew he knew it would be rougher on that man to deal with as he was a man of few words but deep thoughts. He would do all he could to help him adjust to what was to come. He nodded, aye, and he knew others would help as well.

There had been silence when Spock walked into the bridge and looked around. "We will be departing for a shakedown trip to test Mister Scott's modifications in one hour and forty-nine minutes. We will return to Star Base Four and receive our orders when the legal matter is sorted. There will be no discussion about the legal matter, only the performance of the ship. I have locked in the course and allowed for a series of orbits at our intermediary destination. This trip is to fully test the changes made to the efficiency of the ship by Mister Scott's modifications."

Looks were exchanged around the bridge as they could tell how what had happened to the Captain had affected the Vulcan. They knew that it was best to just remain quiet as his actions and his tone of voice were how they had seen him deal with so many other difficult situations. All they had been told was that while on the planet Captain Kirk had broken the Prime Directive and Captain Alliness had, by regulations, had to arrest him and give command of the Enterprise to Spock. Nothing was said as to how he had broken the Prime Directive but it was obvious that none of them, and clearly not the Vulcan First Officer, believed it. Each gave a slight nod. They would follow whatever orders were given even if they had doubts about them.

The nods were noticed by the Vulcan and oddly reassured him. They would give him the same loyalty that they gave to James Kirk. He looked at Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura and then said, "As I have some scientific matters to examine I will require you Mister Sulu, and you Mister Chekov, and you Lieutenant Uhura and Mister Scott to arrange your own roster as to who has the chair but I will require that manned by one of you at all times by one of you four to ensure a full and proper evaluation is done on the benefits of Mister Scott's modifications. I will leave now for a period of meditation in my quarters and will then be in the labs or at my station if needed."

For fourteen days the Enterprise had been put through exhaustive testing and shown that the alterations and modifications made by Mister Scott had improved the efficiency of the ship by, as Spock had told them a not insignificant two point nine one percentile. There had been discussion about the course, about all the manoeuvres that the ship had done, some of which Mister Scott had not planned for but had said he knew his bairns could deal with them.

The bridge crew were aware that not only was Spock giving them each a turn at being the acting captain but that he was clearly mentally engaged with something not to do with the shakedown, they knew it would be to do with what had happened. They could not know that the previous night, as the indicators revealed the planet they were to orbit, Spock had stood alone at the observation window staring into space and that he had closed his eyes, stilled himself, and said, "Jim, I will find the truth."

Early on the fifteenth day Spock had called the five senior officers to the Transporter Room. When they were all there he had looked at each of them as though, Uhura felt, he was trying to remember them. "We are orbiting Hyterra Two and will be for the next two hours and eighteen minutes. There is a possibility that there may be some evidence as to what exactly transpired when the Captain and his party beamed down. I cannot accept that James Kirk would break the Prime Directive and I intend to find out the truth."

"But, Sir, even Keptin Alliness said our orders,"


	2. Chapter 2

"Mister Sulu, I have often found with humans in stressful situations what is said is not exactly what happened and that if reports are made while they are in such states incorrect directions or orders will be given. I am treating this situation accordingly. If memory serve Captain Alliness stated our orders where that until the matter of what took place the crew was not to beam down to Hyterra Two. He stated **the crew,** he did **not** state **individual crew members**." The Vulcan looked from Sulu to McCoy, "While Captain Alliness did believe that Captain Kirk may have over-reacted I do not believe in such an assumption. I believe the Captain may have reacted to something but to what and why are what I must find out." In the dark eyes looking at him McCoy saw a certainty and nodded as he had felt it too but had not voiced it so openly. "If I do not return in time,"

"We will nay leave you, Sir."

"Mister Scott," Spock looked at the Engineer, "you are in command while I am away. Should I not return no one is to beam down. You are to return to Star Base Four and assist the Captain in any way you can."

It only took an instant for the five to realize what was not being said, to exchange a quick look. Command had classified Hyterra Two as off limits till further notice and to go.

"Sir, if I do not beam down with you I will be in trouble with Command for allowing you to beam down to an unknown situation without a member of Security. I will face them with you when we return to Star Base Four but, Sir, **you will not beam down alone.**"

There was a look about the young man's eyes that let the Vulcan know debating the matter was futile and he saw a similar look in the eyes of the others. He had worked with the man long enough to know it was just not because of duty that he was going with him.

"Very well but you will obey without hesitation any order,"

"I understand, Sir."

They walked to the pads and Spock looked at each of the four looking at them from behind the control. There was no mistaking the look that McCoy and Scott were giving him nor the look Uhura and Sulu were giving Chekov. A part of his mind wondered which of them was getting more of a warning as well as a lecture.

In his quarters, although he knew it was really a glorified cell, Kirk suddenly felt as though his command crew were all thinking of him at that moment. There was an odd feeling yet familiar feeling of love, dedication, and concern surrounding him. There was a feeling that all would be right. Slowly he released a long breath, he was certain that it meant that they would keep his ship safe, that they were thinking of him, and that they were working together. It was his hope, that they would help one another face whatever was to happen, that they would accept that he had broken the Prime Directive, that he realized he had reacted to what he thought he saw and not what was there. They would take time to accept it but they would when they heard what had happened. He should not have reacted as he did. He had been in similar situations before and not reacted as he had.

It was that certainty that he had seen a rifle being aimed at them that had made he start to react and when the arrow had buried itself deep into Security Officer Rabbin's thigh he had reacted. As they had been materializing on the Enterprise he realized it clearly had been a crossbow and that he had been too highly reactive because of the light and shadows and the unusual sounds in the wind. From examination of the arrow it was clear that the inhabitants were only just entering the early weapons stage. A civilization that is years from the use of even the most elementary rifle.

Those six special people would, he knew, speak at the hearing, would speak of what he was like, what serving under his captaincy had been like, and how they could not believe he would react as he had, but Alliness had been there and seem him react as he had. He knew he had reacted as he did. He did not want them to risk their careers for him but knew at the hearing there was likely to be things said about those who did not confront what they did, who did not know him.

His main concern was with what was between Spock and McCoy. While he had absolutely no doubt that they would help each other through whatever was to come he was concerned that Spock would try to shut McCoy out and McCoy would be overly emotional at the wrong time. Despite what so many saw when they encountered Spock and McCoy together Kirk knew there was a great closeness between the two of them they themselves often seemed imperious to.

For the moment he shrugged off all worries and just lent back and relaxed it that comforting feeling and hoped that his friends knew he was also thinking of them and hoped all was going well with the shakedown trip. Mister Scott had said that his modifications should increase the power they could get, should increase the response time in increasing warp speed. Kirk knew that if anybody could get more out of the engines it would be Scotty and if anybody could test the ship it would be Spock. Slowly he relaxed on the bed. Scotty, McCoy and Spock would keep the ship and crew safe. He had no doubt that Spock would be given captaincy of the ship as he had served both under Pike and himself on the ship. He may not like it but he deserved the ship.

As soon as they were free of the transporter beam Spock looked at Chekov, "We have ninety-four point eight minutes in which to find evidence as to what occurred here."

"What are we looking for, Sir?"

"Anything that seems out of place, Chekov. Something made the Captain react as he did and we are here to find it."

Spock looked at the younger man as he looked around and nodded, he had noticed it too, the odd patterns of light and shadows and how the wind had the sounds he associated with canyons and not such open spaces. "I doubt if the Captain would of reacted to the light or shadows although they are unusual. We have been on a number of other planets with similar audio and visual distractions."

They walked in almost a predesigned pattern formed over years of working together looking for anything out of place. Seventy-one point three minutes after they had beamed down Chekov yelled, "**Mister Spock, here!**" and was pointing at something in the tall grass.

"A spent shell case most likely from an old earth semiautomatic rifle." Carefully Spock picked up the item using a magnetic probe. "I commend you on your eyesight. It appears to have been altered and it is likely to have the fingerprints or DNA ruminants on it as, if memory serves, any that were so modified were hand-loaded into a system called a magazine."

They were walking back to where they were to beam up as Spock realized he could use the find to get authorization to return for a more details investigation. All their information on this civilization indicated that such weapons would be at least one hundred and fifty years away. Had Jim seen a rifle or heard a shot? There was a,

It had been an almost instinctive reaction as something had caught his attention he had puched Chekov aside. Almost as soon as he heard the five cracks the Vulcan felt searing pain in his chest, right shoulder, and lower abdomen and as he was falling he heard the strangest screaming he dimly recognized as coming from Chekov. Then nothing.

McCoy stood with the others at the controls of the transporter and so wanted to tell Scotty to shut up as he kept a countdown. Scotty got to six minutes and twenty seconds when they heard Chekov clearly yelling, "**Enterprise beam us up! Beam us up!**"

While Scotty manned the transporter McCoy ordered medical support even without giving it much thought. For Chekov to be the one to order the beam up was not a good sign. They had seen Spock beamed up in many conditions but none like what Chekov was bending over. Green blood saturated the entire front of his shirt and was pooling on the pad. Chekov had one arm holding him and an old earth rifle in his other hand which he quickly put down saying, "Do not touch it. Prints and DNA."

For just a moment McCoy just stood looking in shock at what he saw then rushed to Spock's side, "Get that damned gurney here now!" Carefully he looked at the head wound and thanked all the deities he knew that it was a minor surface wound, possibly caused when he fell or a projectile grazing his head just above his left ear. Three times he waved his scanner over the unconscious Vulcan, seeing how each reading was worse than the one before. Without a word they got Spock onto the gurney and McCoy could not recall the rush to Sickbay, he only remembered holding a long fingered hand and talking to his friend telling him he had to hold on.

After three hours he walked out of the operating room and saw the four others there and knew there was a great likelihood they had been there for those three hours. He showed Scotty the four mangled projectiles and twenty-four smaller pieces of metal he had removed from Spock and saw the fury show on the man's face as he also recognized what they represented.

"What is it? What are they?" Uhura looked at both of the silent men and saw growing comprehension on the faces of Chekov and Sulu.

"They, they are high velocity projectiles, bullets, and have clearly been altered so that when they hit their target they splay out like that to do more damage."

"He, he is still with us. I just came out with these. I will do all I can to keep him with us till we get back to Star Base Four. He's very badly torn up internally, almost bled out. How he's still alive is beyond me."

"When I got to him he gripped my hand and said 'Jim,'"

"**That'll be it.**" It was almost as though it was confirmation of what McCoy had been thinking. "Scotty, get us back to Star Base Four as fast as you can. Whatever did that to him was way more advanced than a crossbow. I'll be back in with him."

"Can we," Uhura started.

McCoy shook his head, "Not just now. Go get us headed back and by then I should be able to let you in one at a time. Say nothing to Star Base about this."

Uhura looked again at McCoy, "I'll bring you a meal in about an hour."

"And I have a wee drop that will help ye relax without ye going to sleep." Scotty looked from him to Chekov "You have it secured?"

"Yes and only I, that local, and whoever gave it to him may have touched it. When we get to Star Base Four I will not let it out of my sight."

McCoy looked at Scotty and the Engineer saw the uncertainty and fear about the blue eyes, "How long, Scotty?"

"Five days with all she's got but I'll see if with what I did I can nae make it four."

"Four would be better. I'll try to make him fight to hold on, I'll fight to keep him here but," they all saw him close his eyes and shake his head then stand quiet for a moment before he looked back at the Engineer, "Just get us there as soon as you can."

For three days the five were almost always in contact with Sickbay although Uhura found that as they got closer to Star Base Four she was picking up more chatter and knew by regulations she had to monitor it in case there were any messages for the Enterprise. There was a fair amount about Hyterra Four being off limits, about Kirk breaking the Prime Directive, and there were two voices she had never heard before who were speculating the most about it but she tended to ignore speculation. Tended to but this time she had been recording what she heard on shift and took it with her to her quarters to again listen to anything she thought unusual. And her curiosity had been piqued but the two voices and their phrases. She did not listen to most of what she heard as she knew how it could easily be a way of filling time for the speakers as it was during the hours when there was the least chatter going on and obviously things were too quiet wherever they were..

She had, as had the other bridge crew, wanted to spend time with Spock, to let him know they wee they but McCoy had said it was best that only he be with Spock. They had not liked the idea but knew that McCoy was correct. He could somehow need to concentrate and be with the Vulcan till the crisis was over. McCoy gave her four updates that she passed onto others and that rapidly made its way around the ship without her needed to make a ship-wide announcement.

A day out from Star Base Four Mister Scott had looked at her, "Ye best get me Star Base Four, Uhura. They're nay going to like what I have ta say but we're not docking. They are coming to us with the Captain."

It had only taken Uhura a moment to get the connection and nodded, "Star Base Four, this is acting captain Montgomery Scott on the U.S.S. Enterprise."

"Welcome back, Enterprise. You are back earlier than expected the hearing is,"

"Going to be on this ship."

"But,"

"Now listen, laddie. Now I may nay know all the regulations but i do ken that by the regulations the hearing may take place on this ship and **it will**. We will expect Captain Kirk, Captain Alliness, First Officer Koprah, and the three senior officers who will chair the hearing to be on this ship i**n four hours**."

"That is highly irregular."

"Just deliver our message and tell them the situation warrants it being held on the ship."

"They will not,"

"Aye, they will, laddie, when ye tell them if **they nay agree they will nay see this ship again intact after we leave in four hours and two minutes or** if they **attempt to prevent this ship from leaving**."

"But,"

"Ye have three hours and fifty-nine minutes, Enterprise out."


	3. Chapter 3

James Kirk woke naturally again. He had had many nights with restless dreams as he could not accept that he would just have reacted as he did and yet he had. He could not recall anything more about what had happened while on the surface, what, if anything, he had seen. He had jolted awake one night as he was sure he had heard Spock call out his name in an odd voice that sounded full of pain yet victory. For a moment he had lain still and waited for his heart to slow. He had no idea where the Enterprise was apart from on a shakedown run and was sure he would be advised if anything had happened. Just another dream. He had had one in which he had heard Spock so clearly say, "Jim, I will find the truth." but knew it was a dream as he knew that nobody was to go to Hyterra Four till the next officially approved approach was made. They were just dreams.

Dreams like being back on his. No. The Enterprise was no longer his ship. Although he knew he would never serve again with his friend he hoped that they would stay in contact. Over the years he had come to realize just how important both McCoy and Spock were to him but how Spock seemed to be his other half, his better half. He took a deep breath and stood up. He would not let himself think of how much he was going to miss so much about that silent figure that had always been there. He shook his head, maybe not always but it had been so comfortable he could not think, did not want to think of the time before it was there not what life would be now without it there.

Still one day away from the scheduled hearing. He had been told that all the senior officers had arrived and were preparing for the hearing. Nothing about the Enterprise nor. No. He stopped himself. He had to forget all that. He had to accept that in that millisecond when he had fired his phaser he had broken the Prime Directive. Showing advanced technology. All those other times when he had come close but had stopped. Why this time? It had been a crossbow and not a rifle. How could he have confused the two and reacted like that?

The door opening had surprised him and to see Captain Alliness was not all that unusual as he had visited a few times but always with a guard. "It seems the hearing is to be on the Enterprise. Seems your Engineer can be extremely persuasive." As they walked along the corridors and Kirk tried to think what Scotty would be up to and why it was him and not Spock, Alliness looked at him, "Do you believe your Engineer would really destroy the ship?"

That made Kirk stop and look at Alliness. He had never given all that much thought as to what the crew really would do if they collectively thought of doing something so outlandish as this. Obviously they believed he had not broken the Prime Directive and were going to prove it before a trial. But destroy the ship? For a moment he was quiet as he realized the truth and looked at Alliness, "I have known for some time I had a loyal crew but until now I had not realized what they were willing to do for me. While it is difficult to admit I do believe that if he believed it was an action he had to take for some reason Miser Scott would be party to destroying the Enterprise."

"For some reason your Communications Officer has asked to see me." Allines smiled at him, "I will not allow her to get near enough to me to plant a listening device on me."

The more he thought about it the more he realized that Uhura would possibly have that in mind and that Spock would be in the background assisting, possibly directing, but using Scotty as the spokesman. Kirk nodded to himself, that odd feeling of unease that he had when he thought of what Spock would be doing still there, still faint but there, Spock would, he nodded to himself, would let Scotty deal with the emotional Humans while he directed from the side.

In Sickbay on the Enterprise McCoy looked at his patient and heard again that call for, "Jim." He had heard it twenty-two times when he had told Spock that Jim was coming. It was getting fainter and not so often. There had been a moment, just after the operation when Spock had been lucid enough to understand he was in Sickbay and that Jim was coming, when the Vulcan had gripped, firmly gripped, his hand, looked at him, undeniably recognized him, and said, "You, McCoy, my good close friend. Jim, my T'hy'la.", there had been another squeeze, then the Vulcan had closed his eyes and lapsed back into the void. For a moment McCoy just stood, aware of nothing but what had just happened. He had stayed with him, holding his hand, sometimes half dozing as he sat beside the bed holding that long-fingered hand. If they were going to lose Spock he would not be alone. If he lost Spock how would he face Jim? When they found whoever did this he wanted time alone with them, with them strapped down and fully conscious. He had been angry enough about whoever was behind what had happened before to Spock but after he read the communiqué he had received from the Vulcan healers about what he had found in the metal he had felt a fury he only just contained. Those projectiles had not only torn so many organs, had done so much damage, almost too much damage, but also been of old metal blends not used in over a century and had released microscopic mercury chips into the Vulcan's blood, a factor the healers had said could prove fatal. Gently McCoy reached out and brushed the dark hair into placed as he silently whispered, "It's gonna be a very long time before you are on full duty but come hell or high water, as they used to say, if you get it through this I will make sure you regain enough fitness and health to get back to full duty."

In the transporter room Kirk had seen the three senior officers, First Officer Koprah and knew the other security officer was not there as he had already been questioned before the Enerprise had left. He was not sure why First Officer Koprah was there but there had to be a reason why he had been asked for.

"We have been told that your officers have a briefing room prepared. This is most unusual but not unheard of. This is, after all, just a pre-court martial hearing to ensure all the facts are presented. We have read and reviewed in front of the two officers concerned the reports from the two security guards. We will go directly from the transporter room to the briefing room."

Kirk had tried to calm himself as he was looking forward to seeing Spock and McCoy as well as his bridge crew. Even if he could not speak to them it would please him to see them both again. When they materialized in the transporter room there had only been Scotty and one of his officers. At first Kirk had felt uneasy but then realized that Spock would be waiting in the briefing room just to make sure everything was exactly as it had to be. He noticed how as they went through the door the officer with Scotty accidentally bumped into Koprah who had to reach out with a hand to stop himself from falling. The officer apologised and Koprah just looked at him.

The corridors were all empty and when he looked in the room it was also empty. He had hoped that somehow McCoy or Spock would have found a way around the restrictions he had placed on him about contact with his crew. The room was set up as per regulations for hearings. It would just be those there now. At the court martial there would be more, it would be far away from the ship, and he would be more alone than he was now. While McCoy and Spock were not there he knew with everything in him that they had a hand in arranging this but he could not understand why. There had to be a reason.

Captain Alliness had gone to see Uhura and caught up with them in the briefing room and he could see something had been said that was making him look at his First Officer in a strange way. Once they were all settled Kirk looked at the three on the panel, the three to decide why he had broken the Prime Directive. How would they have reacted? When had they last been, No, he stopped himself. That did not matter. He had reacted without thinking. He had been so sure he had seen or heard something just before the arrow struck his officer.

"Officer Korpah, you are here to tell us if there is anything you saw when you first went down to Hyterra Four that you may have forgotten, anything out of the ordinary you might have done."

"There is nothing."

"Is there a secondary reason for you to request being here?"

"I do know of how loyal Mister Spock has been as a First Officer and how he also has often publically stated that he has no desire to command, to be Captain. I am also aware that the Enterprise will need a Captain should Mister Spock still feel that way and decide not the take the position, even as an acting captain till there has been a formal appointment, and I have put my name down for consideration. I also am aware that should he decide to accept the promotion he rightfully deserves and is made the Captain of the Enterprise I am the best qualified to assist him as First Officer." There was no disguising the surprise on Captain Allines's face that was slowly blending with the earlier look into almost an incredulous inquisitorial stare.

Kirk just sat looking between Korpah and Alliness. It was obvious that while Korpah had thought this all through he had not mentioned it to Alliness. He realized that his own face and posture must be reflecting his own thoughts as well. While he was having some trouble accepting he had lost his captaincy he was finding it more difficult to think of Spock as another's First Officer.

"You are aware that such matters are not the preview of this hearing?"

"I do not mean to distract from the hearing. I merely wanted it known that there would be no need for a delay in fully utilizing the Enterprise while waiting for a full command crew."

"Duly noted. We have not yet spoken with Mister Spock."

"Is that not unusual? He is the senior officer on the ship."

The three on the panel looked at one another and Kirk saw Alliness look at him in question. It was unusual but as he was sure that Spock would have a good reason for not being there. They then looked at Kopah, "Find out where he is and why he has not reported. Even though he is not required for the hearing he is the senior officer of this ship and should be preent."

Kopah had only been out the door for less than two minutes when he walked back in with Scotty right behind him. Kirk slowly stood as he saw the look the Engineer gave him before he turned and looked at the panel, "Mister Spock can nae be disturbed. I would ask ye to follow me to see why it t'was necessary for you to come here."

"We are having a hearing."

"Aye, I know that but ye need to know the truth. Now will ye please follow me."

Kirk relaxed. Spock clearly had found something. 'The truth.' That was why he and McCoy were not there. They clearly had found something but that would mean. He looked at Scotty as he mathematically calculated the time to and back from Hyterra Four, as he knew how Spock would have found some obscure reason to return, some ambiguous regulation that would allow him to investigate. As he kept looking at Scotty he tried to relax yet there was just something about the way the Engineer was looking back that made him uneasy. Spock often would take time away to think if he felt he had done something human.

Slowly they followed Scotty to a room and he had the three from the panel, Captain Allines, Koprah, and then him enter. At first it seemed just another office and they look at each other. Kirk could tell the others were as puzzled as he was. Chekov walked in carrying a rolled blanket. For a moment there was silence as Chekov and Scotty looked at one another then Scotty looked at Koprah, "I must apologize for my lad knocking into you earlier but it was necessary."

Kirk was aware that the others, like him, were taken aback by that as it had clearly been an accident.

"Ye see where ye put your hand we had some special adhesive so we got your finger prints and some DNA."

There was a slight change about Koprah's eyes that bordered on fear as Chekov unrolled the blanket and an old earth semi-automatic rifle was revealed.

"I think when the experts look at this they will find your prints match those on the bullets and the only way your prints could get there is if you put them there."

It was clear that the others also had seen the uncertainty on Koprah's face as he looked at the rifle. "What, what would I be doing with such a museum piece?"


	4. Chapter 4

Gidday all - sorry about last time I put this up - having some major computer problems. Think it heard the televised election debate and was having a hissy fit. Hope this proves worth the wait for me to straighten out.

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><p>"Tis nay what ye would be doing with one as what it seems ye did."<p>

The room darkened and in the screen before them they saw Spock and Chekov obviously, to Kirk, on Hyterra Four where they had been. Kirk smiled to himself. He knew Spock would find something. Spock was letting him see what happened and would be waiting to discuss it with him later. He sat back in his chair and watched as the recording showed Chekov and he Vulcan looking around. Methodical and slow. Showed the odd patterns of the shadows, they could hear the unusual sounds of the wind, heard Spock say how he knew the Captain would not react to things like that. Saw how excited Chekov had been when he found something. Heard Spock say, "If I am not mistaken it is the spent shell casing from a projectile used in an old Earth rifle." and they all saw what appeared to be what Spock had said, a spent shell case from an old earth rifle. Kirk smiled to himself, he knew he had seen a rifle. Then Spock had said there would possibly be fingerprints on it. They had started walking back. Spock had suddenly stopped and pushed Chekov then there were five bangs, Spock had slightly turned, green blood staining his top, and started to fall, Chekov had rushed off yelling something obviously in Russian, the rifle in the grass, returning to Spock, hearing the faint, "Jim." then nothing.

Kirk was not aware of saying, "Spock!" as he had jumped to his feet, nor of rushing to the door, pausing to look back, giving the order "Thoroughly check that rifle out.", nor continuing his rush to Sickbay knowing only that he had to get to Spock and knew McCoy would be with him.

Just for a moment, as he entered Sickbay and first saw Spock, his world and time seemed to stop. His mind refused to believe what he saw. He felt his mouth move a few times but no words came out. A hand clamped over his mouth, stunning him even more as he heard a familiar Scottish brogue speaking softly but firmly in his ear.

"Ye will nay say his name, Captain. McCoy has had him hold on this long believing in ye coming. He is believing ye are still coming. The longer he believes that ye are not here the longer he will hold on and McCoy thinks it will help keep him with us."

As he looked from Spock to McCoy he saw his friend nod and point to the panel. The readings were low, too low, yet they were registering life. McCoy nodded again and Kirk nodded back, felt the arms holding him release him and the hand over his mouth be removed then he slowly walked up to the bed and started to put his hand on Spock's arm but McCoy gripped his wrist and pulled his hand away, "He'll feel you and know it is you. Outside."

Out in the corridor McCoy looked at him, "Now, before you ask, I don't know. Twenty-two times he has called your name. He had a brief moment of awareness and I told him you were coming, I have kept telling him that and he has held on. His condition has improved slightly, very slightly but it has improved. He, he at one time looked, really looked at me and said I am his good close friend and you are his t'hy'la."

"Can, can I just sit with him, Bones? No talking, no touching, I promise, just, I just need to sit beside him. I'd just be sitting there, just being there."

McCoy put a hand on his shoulder, "Jim, Captain, I think you have another matter to tidy up first. I believe you should be getting back to your hearing. Get that all sorted out and then come back, I will be with him. Go." When he hesitated and looked back in the room at his best friend on the bed, McCoy gripped his arm, "You go get your captaincy back and make sure that that thing who did this does not get near me."

"You, you'll."

"I haven't left him since it happened and there is no way I am about to leave him now."

When Kirk got back to the briefing room it was obvious that Captain Alliness had been verbally cutting Korpah to pieces and was still in the process. It was also obvious that neither of them were thinking of those present. " Captain Alliness was only just holding himself in check. "**You, you** gave them the rifle and thought it would not matter? **You gave them a rifle, something they were at least a century behind developing on their own, showed them how to shoot it, and thought it would not matter as nobody would know**? You knew the bullets were altered. You knew it would kill."

"I did not know the Enterprise would go back, that that would happen. As per official regulations Mister Spock had absolutely no right to go back."

"He went back out of **loyalty to his captain**, to clear his captain. Would you not do the same?"

"I am a senior Star Fleet officer and **I follow the regulations**. **Mister Spock clearly disregarded them.** The landing party only saw the crossbow. I was told there was no way,"

"Told? So Lieutenant Uhura was correct. It was you."

"She could not know, she does not know what I sound like. A guess." There was a touch of panic in Korpah's voice.

"She recorded just a small portion of what she thought was idle chatter. It was you telling somebody that the rifle had worked and you had the entire prize."

"No. No there was no way."

"**Clearly there was a way** and the First Officer found it. Would you not also want to know the truth."

"If they had followed regulations and order they should have accepted the attack as the truth! Others would have."

"So **you,**" Kirk noticed how they were standing and how Alliness had his hands in tight fists as he looked directly at Korpah, "**you and not Kirk, broke the Prime Directive.** **They saw you** beam up, you showed them technology beyond their understanding, you gave them a weapon that they are years from developing."

"That blasted Vulcan First Officer. I had heard of the loyalty of Vulcans, had heard that what he and Kirk have was special but he should have stayed with Kirk. He should not have gone back. There was nothing logical about what he did."

Kirk slowly walked over to stand in front of Korpah, "That is because Mister Spock is also half-Human and it is his Human side that often gets him in trouble. It is because of his Vulcan side that I do not do to you here and now what I so want to do to you as he would not understand it. Do you know how many ways there are to, without a weapon, slowly and painfully kill another being? If your prints are on those bullets and Mister Spock dies can be assured we will meet again and we will be alone."

"I only gave them the rifle, I did not shoot him."

"He would not have been shot if you had not given them the rifle."

"None of you, not one of you, know what it is like. I have been on starships for over ten years, I have been First Officer for eighteen months, and this was my way, my only way of getting a promotion. I told them to injure the Security officer in red as I was sure you would react as you did by asking for a beam up in their presence, you using your phaser was even better. But that blasted Vulcan,"

"Right now, Mister, you are on," Kirk stopped. What was he on? This had been his ship, he had not been reinstated, he was still.

The three panellists looked at one another then the one Kirk recognized as Wayne Hanson, one of the most by-the-book and knowledgeable man on Star Fleet and Federation law, looked at him, "James Tiberous Kirk, you are hereby reinstated as full Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise it appears that a great injustice has been done to you. This will be expunged from your records. What is Miser Spock's status?"

For just an instant Kirk closed his eyes, he did not want to think about that. "He is in the care of Doctor Leonard McCoy, a doctor who knows more about Mister Spock's medical history than any other living being. He was uncertain," he paused and calmed himself, "Doctor McCoy could not state if Mister Spock will survive his injuries."

"We will require you to return to Star Base Four with us for approximately three hours to formalize everything and then you will return to your ship and await further orders. We will also require the recordings your Communications Officer made. It is unusual for officers to do what was done by your Communications Officer. You do have the best crew in the fleet."

"Thank you, Sir. Sirs, if I may I will meet you in the transporter room as I would like to tell Doctor McCoy, in person, in person, that I will be away for just over three hours."

"Perfectly understandable."

At the door to Sickbay's intensive care unit he motioned to McCoy, "They've reinstated me, expunged my record of this and need me for three hours."

"That's great news, Jim." McCoy smiled and gripped his friend's hand then saw the unasked question in the way his friend was looking at Spock. "He is still with us There has been a very, very slight improvement since we got him aboard. He still thinks you are coming and is holding on, not fighting the medication I am giving him. We've used up all the spare blood we had for him: I've come up with a copper and saline drip that had helped with blood flow, plus a a substance one of my and his officer's has come up with that helps Go take care of what you have to. I'm not leaving him."

Kirk had taken care of all the formalities and been introduced to two of Star Fleets doctors he was asked to take for a discussion with the Chief Medical Officer. He was not in favour of the idea but knew it was one of the things that was expected in such circumstances.

When they beamed aboard Kirk had seen Scotty look at him oddly and then said, "Ah, Captain, ye have ta remain here for a minute as with the modifications we have had the odd smell of gas in here. It'll nae take a minute. Connors, check with Wilkens about checking the gas McCoy mentioned."

For a moment Kirk just stood then turned to the two doctors, "It is best to wait, as you may know with the systems on a star ship it is best to make sure so that nothing spreads." Although he did not fully understand how Kirk knew that McCoy would be informed of the arrivals, would be prepared for them.

Informed was one thing but for him to be waiting just outside Sickbay was a surprise as was seeing two armed officers by the door.

"I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy Chief Medical Officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise, what can I do for you?"

"I'm Doctor Letop from Star Base Four and this is Doctor Harold Gelbirth of,"

"Nice to meet you, Doctor Letop and" there was no mistaking the look of loathing on McCoy's face, " I have met Doctor Gelbirth before. **What the devil do you want**?"


	5. Chapter 5

"We were informed that Mister Spock is,"

"He is **my patient** and anything that you need to know will be reported."

"Are we to assume that the armed guards are to prevent entry?"

"No, not assume, know that as that is their role. I have these two armed officers just outside my Sickbay and there are two more just by the door there into the intensive care unit and that is to **prevent that excuse for a doctor,**" he jerked his thumb towards but did not look at Doctor Gelbirth, "**trying to take my patient off this ship**."

"You are aware that Doctor Gelbirth has, unquestionably, the leading reputation in knowledge of alien bodies. That he has written many highly regarded papers on his work."

"Of course I am aware," Kirk could hear the annoyance many would miss in his voice, but nobody could mistake the look McCoy gave Gelbirth, "I am also aware that he is very eager to get this particular patient to further his reputation and his list of published papers."

"Then you understand why, after careful consideration of all the presented data, it is the decision of,"

"Those who have clearly **not read his paper** in which he clearly states **his main goal is to make a thorough study of**, now let me word this correctly, '**the body First Officer Spock of the U.S.S. Enterprise** upon its death or at such time as death is proven to be the outcome of any further attempts to sustain its life'. Wasn't that how you put phrased it. **Its** death. **Its** life. **Not his**."

"We were given the impression by what Officer Stefan Koprah said that Mister Spock was shot several times in the chest with what were called dumb dumb bullets which were used on old Earth in the late twentieth century and virtually exploded on impact with the body with the result of doing substantial damage to all internal organs. You must know that to have been struck by so many have shredded its internal organs, hybrid organs at that, and it is therefore,"

Just the slightest of changes in how McCoy was standing as he interrupted Gelbirth let Kirk know he was only just in control of his emotions, "Just in case you do not know, **Officer Koprah is extremely delusional.** If you had had any sort of contact with him you would have noticed it. Mister Spock is my patient and I have given the officers guarding my Sickbay orders to **shoot to kill** anybody who is not a crewmember of this ship and who tries to enter."

"Having read your notes, Doctor McCoy, it is obvious that you have a vast knowledge of hybrid Vulcan/Human anatomy and physiology that you are not sharing with us. I noted that you only days ago made contact with the Vulcan healers. Surely that is evidence that **you must know how important**," Gelbirth started and McCoy spun to look at him which silenced him.

"**Respecting the rights and privacy of my patients**, yes, I do. Do you? I did contact the Vulcan healers to enquire if they had any record of treating a Vulcan with such injuries. Unfortunately they were unable to assist me, and I doubt if you would have been told as Vulcan are honourable people who also respect the rights and privacy of patients. I have not shared, I cannot share, nor am I ever going to share, any of what I have learned from the many times I have worked on Mister Spock because **I swore an oath as a doctor not to**, I guess you, Doctor Gelbirth, have conveniently forgotten that part of being a doctor. Now it is some time since I took it but I remember that part of it was **'I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know'.** It is clear, from your papers, that **that oath means absolutely nothing to you** and yet you have the gall to** expect me to stoop to your level**?"

Kirk could see that McCoy was getting worked up and could go too far, "Bones."

McCoy just glanced at him said, "No, Captain." then looked back at Gelbirth, "I will report only the information that is necessary to fill the requirements of Star Fleet as I have done since being given the position as Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise. As **they have not questioned any of my hundreds of reports before** I see no reason why they should now. **If they do start asking questions about this I will damn well want to know the reasoning behind the sudden interest**. Almost as equally as important to me as that oath you ignore are the two reasons why i will not share what I know with others: firstly because it is something personal to my patient and, secondly yet most importantly, because my patient is one of my best friends whom I both admire and respect far more than I do almost all other beings." Slowly McCoy walked to the door into the Intensive Care room and looked in then turned and looked at the two doctors, "Now, as you both know I have the right, under Star Fleet regulations, to require any non-essential personnel who are not crewmembers of the ship to be escorted out of Sickbay should I consider them a threat to a patient Right now I want both of you to leave immediately."

"But I need to,"

McCoy took a step toward Gelbirth and looked him right in the eyes and said very quietly, "You, Doctor Gelbirth, **I consider pose a very serious threat to my patient** and my friend and you need to get off this ship now before you are carried off in a body bag with a toe tag."

When Gelbirth at first did not move McCoy nodded and the armed officers took a step forward and stopped when Gelbirth raised his hand, "Fine. I now fully understand why you, Doctor McCoy, have the reputation you have about caring and respecting your patients. I am aware that somehow as I got more and more interested in diseases that somewhere I realized and accepted that I felt better dealing with the dead and those about to die who I could study to learn more than dealing with those who are alive. I now see that it is no wonder you have such a high standing in the medical world within the Federation as you have learned so much more than I and most others could because of how you care for and study those who are alive and that most definitely helps you learn even more. I was particularly interested in getting Mister Spock's body as he is a most unique hybrid and would make **a most interesting study**. I envy you, Doctor McCoy, for having not only the opportunity to study such a being but also having such a being as a friend. If I may I would like to be informed if he survives."

"I will let you know that. Now, if you will excuse me, I do have a patent to watch as he is still on the critical list. The Captain will see you safely off the ship."

Once back in the isolation room McCoy walked slowly up to the bed and briefly placed a hand on Spock's shoulder, "You hang on, Spock. Jim is coming. He will want your report. You know how he is whenever he has been off the ship, even with you in command. And with what you did he really will want a detailed report. You just hang on. Just lay there and think of what you are going to tell him about what you did. I'll be right here. I'll be right by your bed. I'll be right here till Jim comes to get your report."

When Kirk walked back to Sickbay he stood for a moment just looking at how McCoy was standing by the bed Spock was on. He had seen his friend sanding like that many times but there was something different this time. There was no denying the feelings shown on his friend's face. To those who only saw him as a Chief Medical Officer it was the look of a concerned doctor but he saw the deep friendship that was there. There was also a deep weariness and he knew that McCoy had not left Spock's side since the incident.

Kirk took one step into the room and McCoy walked over and motioned him into the office, "There has only been that very slight change, Jim. It is a very, very, very slight but it was a good sign. He has yet to fully enter a Vulcan healing trance. Now," from the drawer he kept his special bottles in, he lifted out a long rectangular bottle Kirk knew was very special, poured two small glasses, put the bottle safely back in the drawer, then handed a glass to his friend, "To having you back on the ship and soon back to where you belong on the ship."

For a few minutes after he had downed the liquid he savoured the taste it had left in his mouth as he felt it warming his digestive system. So often McCoy knew just what was needed. It was the routine when there had been an incident but this time it was the special bottle as clearly the events had rocked his friend to the core. As Kirk looked at his friend he realized how his being arrested would have shaken him and then for Spock to have done what he did and end up as he had. No, Kirk shook his head to clear the thought. McCoy would have been worried first about him then about Spock. As much as they bickered and were polar opposites there was that deep undercurrent of friendship now obvious from the way McCoy would lean back in his chair and quickly glance into the room Spock was in.

"You going to let me just sit in there with him, yet? I just need to be there, Bones. I won't touch him, won't talk to him. I'll just be in there with him. He may or may not know, be aware, that I am there but I will know. I will be there."

For a long time McCoy looked at him. He saw the concern and understood it only too well. He looked a bit longer and saw what he knew he would see: the blame. As usual his friend was blaming himself for Spock being injured. For a moment he almost said that the two of them constantly blaming themselves for the other being injured would be the death of him but stopped as he was guilty himself of doing it. So many times Spock had saved him only to be seriously injured, so many times that blasted Vulcan had been injured helping him, and not once had his friend ever mentioned it beyond stating it was the only logical action to be taken.

"I'll let you in there with him while I check on the wound by where our livers would be," McCoy looked at his friend and saw him close his eyes, clearly knowing Vulcan anatomy was different to human, "but no talking or touching, understood?"

"I just want to be in there with him, Bones, even for that short a time."

Together they went into the intensive care room and slowly Kirk walked to the spot McCoy indicated. Everything in him screamed out for him to talk, to touch, to hold his friend but he stopped. Remembering Spock's sensory powers he calmed himself in ways the Vulcan had shown him. McCoy had earlier reminded him that Spock might somehow be aware of his presence and it was too soon for him to be awake. As McCoy pulled back the sheet Kirk closed his eyes as he saw the extent and location of the injuries. In time the permaskin would become part of his own skin but for now they were still raw and some still had the small drainage tubes in them. How McCoy had managed to keep him alive was a true testament to his skills as a surgeon.

"Just McCoy here checking on your wounds, Spock. I heard that Jim should be here soon, Spock. Scotty heard from somebody at the Base that Jim had been in with the senior officers, that he will be returning to the ship soon, as soon as he has finished with all that stuff the higher echelon want. Your wounds are looking better. Still have two that are still draining. You just need to rest and hold on till Jim gets here. He will want to talk with you. I have to leave you for about an hour. M'Benga will keep an eye on you. He has two other crewmen to watch but they are just having a mild reaction to something they had to eat off ship. Rest now."

McCoy lightly touched Kirk's shoulder and nodded towards the office as he placed the sheet back how he wanted it. Kirk noticed how McCoy had paused after adjusting the sheet to just look down at their sleeping friend. There was a reflection of his own concern on that face.

"When he wakes up I am going to really need your help, Jim. He will need time, this time, to fully recover. In all the years I have been his surgeon I have never seen him, or tended to him, this close to bleeding out, his actually dying on the table on me with me totally unable to stop it. Knowing him as I do, as we do, he will want to be up on the bridge at work as soon as he opens his eyes. We cannot let him do that this time. This time he needs a lot of time to get over what those old-fashioned bullets did to him. I will want him in here for at least four hundred standard hours."

As the implication of what McCoy was saying hit him Kirk looked back in the other room at his Vulcan friend. Four hundred standard hours. Just over sixteen standard days. A smile touched his lips when he looked back at McCoy, "You want him in here, with you, for over a standard week? I thought you planned on cutting back on how often you felt the need for a drink?"

"That's another reason I want you here. To make him see the," a smile touched the blue eyes looking back at him, "logic of staying here and to make sure I don't calm down too often in the bottle."

"And you are sure that he will be,"

"As far as I can tell, **for now,** Jim, he will be fine. There was just a graze on his head. So I am not too worried about it. There was a lot of blood but I am fairly sure it is just a graze. I'll know more when he fully wakes up. What worries me most right now is that he is having trouble getting into a Vulcan healing trance and I am not sure how much of a strain it was on him. **I am certain now that i know the reason for that** but for now I am monitoring him for what that mercury and other old metals did in his copper based system. The metals in those old projectiles were made for iron based blood. Once I am certain his blood work is fine I will work on the reason for him not being in the healing trance."

Anger flared for a moment in Kirk, "You mean **you know what is stopping him** and are doing,"

"Jim, I need to find out through his blood-work that his blood volume is sufficient for him to go into the deep trance he will need. I need for him to have enough fluids in his systems to help him. I've seen him before, during, and after some of his healing trances and noted how much his bodily fluid level is crucial and until I see he can maintain that safe level **I am not going to let him slip into that trance he will not come out of**."

Some of the reason got through to him but Kirk was furious thinking that McCoy was deliberately not letting Spock get into a healing trance, "But you know why, **what is stopping him?**"


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm fairly certain I know." blue eyes looked levelly at him, "And I am sure, if you think about it, you will know that **we** know."

"We?" he was about to ask who the 'we' were but saw the answer in the eyes looking at him and heard it in the recesses of his mind. Slowly he nodded, "That's why you're not letting him know I am here? You worked out that he was holding on to know I had the ship back and the longer he holds on the more fluid," he looked at the empty glass he was still holding for a moment then back at his friend, "I can do that, Bones. I can keep away till you tell me I can go in."

"Glad to hear it, Jim. It should only be for about thirty more standard hours."

"I will be there, Bones. What he did,"

"Was what **he felt he had to do, Jim**. The five of us in particular tried to talk him out of it as we did not believe what was reported but knew what our orders were. We were told of the conditions down there, how the light and wind was most unusual. Apparently only you saw the rifle. Spock told me you had to have seen something and he was going to find it. Even told us, no, he **ordered us** to leave if he did not return in two hours." McCoy paused, looking steadily at him for a moment, "You saw what happened."

"Saw and heard. Did Spock tell the crew there were orders given for nobody to return without authorization?"

McCoy sighed, "He said he was going down and when Sulu reminded him of our orders he told us he was going to go down alone as **the orders had said the crew not the individual**. Chekov let him know that that was not going to happen. You saw the rest."

"How has Chekov been?"

"He still has some guilt. We have tried to get him to understand that there was nothing he could have done and that he did the right thing getting the rifle. He said it would have been what Spock would expect from him but I can tell he has not accepted that there was not something he should have done, possibly won't till Spock tells him."

Kirk nodded, he could understand the young navigator's feelings as he had felt it too often as well. Even now, although he knew he was not to blame for what had happened he was aware of a feeling of guilt.

McCoy had been watching him and recognized the signs, "I think you should go get some sleep, Jim. And I'll tell you what I have told Chekov, I will not let you in there with him if you have that 'all my fault' look about you. For one you have no reason to feel guilty and more importantly he would not want either of you to feel guilty, and you both know it."

Kirk looked from McCoy to the sleeping Vulcan and nodded, "I need to talk with the others, Bones. What all of you did,"

McCoy nodded and went to his intercom, "Uhura, this is McCoy."

"Go ahead, Doctor."

"The Captain would like to meet with senior crew in briefing room one."

"I'll get them to meet in the briefing room and will take some coffee for all."

"Thank you, Uhura. McCoy out." McCoy looked at his friend, "Captain, I would suggest you go ahead and freshen up a bit; I'll get M'Benga in to watch over Spock."

After another long look at Spock, as though to make sure he was still alive, Kirk nodded and headed to his quarters for a few minutes. McCoy just stood looking at the way Kirk had gone and shook his head. Only too well had he read that look Kirk had had when he had looked at Spock before he left. He would again tell Spock that Kirk would soon be there. He would again have to make his Vulcan friend fight. He had made Kirk believe that that slight improvement was more than it had been. Spock was still in for a very long fight, he was still far from fine, and he was going to be there to help him with that fight in any way he could.

He walked back over and stood by the still form on the bed, "I will not be long, Spock, I am getting M'Benga to look after you while I am away. I will see what I can find out about how much longer Jim will be. You just rest. He will want your report so you just rest and get it all sorted out. I reduced some of the medication that you once said hindered you from getting into a full healing trance. I will not be long." He paused, just for a moment looking at his sleeping friend as though hoping for some response but knowing there would be none. He did not allow himself to accept that there might never be a response.

When Kirk arrived in the briefing room all of them were there waiting and he nodded as he sat and took a sip of the coffee. Then one by one he looked at them, "I wanted to thank you all as a group and as individuals for your actions during my absence. What you did,"

"Was follow orders, Captain. Mister Spock spent most of the time either in his quarters studying science data or on the bridge, at the Science Station. As per his orders we all took turns in the chair going out on the shakedown and on the way back," the Chief Engineer looked around at the others then steadily at him, "I stayed with me bairns getting all I could from them, McCoy stayed with Spock, and those three took care of the rest."

Took turns. Kirk nodded to himself. That would be Spock's method of ensuring the bridge crew felt confident about being in the chair, experienced it for where they might all one day be, even though he knew Scotty would not leave his engines.

Uhura looked at him, "**We** only **did what both of you would expect us to do**."

Sulu half-smiled, "As we had to report to him we knew we had to be exact. It was testing enough during the shake-down part of the trip but afterwards it was difficult to not think about what had happened, to still make our reports on the ship and not dwell on what had happened."

"I, I," Chekov looked at the table for a minute then at Kirk and in that first moment Kirk saw the inner turmoil the young officer was in, "I could not think on the way back. All I could think was how I had not been fast enough, how I did not,"

"Pavel," Kirk shook his head, "I do not think Spock would want you to blame yourself. What I saw, what was recorded, showed you followed your training and your instinct, something that he would understand. You had to get the physical evidence of what I had seen and what was used."

"But is he dies it is **my fault.**"

"You were not,"

"He moved me. He must have seen it and he pushed me, he deliberately pushed me as he turned. **It is my fault**."

"**No!**" Kirk looked at the young officer and understood the pain and guilt only too well, "**You cannot believe that, Pavel.** You said it, **he deliberately pushed you**. His reaction times have always been faster than that of humans. **He knew what he was doing.** He would not want you to think it was your doing. You will not take the blame for something that is not your fault. You did what he would have expected you do, you duty, you got the proof."

Acceptance was slowly showing on the young officer's face. "If I may I would like to ask what it was you were yelling as you ran towards the shooter."

Now his Navigator looked away for a minute then back at him. "I was just swearing at him, Keptin. I had to get the rifle as Mister Spock would want it and I had to startle the native. "

"I saw how the shooter dropped it and ran when you yelled so you clearly started him. And you were right, Spock would want you to get the weapon."

Chekov nodded, closed his eyes for a moment then Kirk saw the question on his face before he asked, "How is Mister Spock?"

Kirk looked at McCoy and as soon as the doctor had heard the question he had he steeled himself as he wanted, no needed, to tell the truth but was not yet willing to. He was not ready to accept the possibility that one of his closest friends was going to die and that he had prolonged the torment his friend's body was going through. As he kept looking at Kirk McCoy wondered how he was going to be able to tell this friend the truth, how this friend would react when he heard the truth. As he looked into the hazel eyes that had always shown their trust in him McCoy felt a chill pass through him. No, it was not so much telling this man the truth as it was facing the truth himself. Slowly he looked at the other five there and noticed how they were all watching him, waiting to hear what he could not say.

"There has been, as I have told the Captain, a very slight improvement. Spock has yet to get into a Vulcan healing trance." he saw the fear flash across Uhura's face as she clearly realized that it was highly unusual for him not to have gone into a healing trance long ago. "I have been able to keep him with us this long as I have maintained the charade of the Captain not being here but coming, I noticed that slight change only when I had first finished operating on him and he had a few moments of awareness, said a few private words to me and for the Captain and has remained as he is since then, since I did not tell him the truth. I, I have been forcing him to stay." For a moment he closed his eyes and shook his head then looked at Kirk, looked him in the eyes, "Those twenty-two times he called out your name **I should have told him the truth.** As my friend I owed him that. As my friend I owed him the truth but I, but I was afraid I would lose my friend if I told him the truth. I was afraid he would let go. Jim, I, **I lied to him**. I have made him fight for so long because I lied."

"**Bones, don't! You,**"

"**No!** Don't even think of trying to tell me I am wrong, Jim, as **I LIED TO HIM** and because of that lie he has fought for so long. He called me a good close friend and I was torturing him by not telling him to truth, by maintaining my lie of you being there soon. I just wanted him to,"

M'Benga's voice bellowed from the intercom, "McCoy to Sickbay! McCoy to Sickbay!"

Later those who had been present would comment how they had never seen Doctor McCoy bolt out of a room the way he did and even Kirk had had to race to keep up with him. While the main door to Sickbay was open the door to the intensive care room was shut and M'Benga stood by it and looked at McCoy, "His breathing is strained and irregular, his reading irregular, only just started."

McCoy nodded and staying slightly behind him the others followed him into the room. Before he stepped up to the bed he looked over his shoulder and gave Scotty a short nod and as he saw the Scotsman grip Kirk's arm he looked back at the bed. It appeared Spock was having extreme difficulty breathing. Calmly McCoy waked over to the bed, and took hold of Spock's hand as he briefly closed his eyes and listened to the strained breathing. "It's McCoy, Spock. I had to leave you for a few minutes. It's all okay now. It's all okay." At first he felt a jolt of panic then a cascade of relief as Spock started to relax and the breathing eased. He squeezed the hand in his as he kept his eyes shut not wanting to open them, wanting to just feel the very warm hand in his and just listen to the breathing.

The breathing and what it meant.


	7. Chapter 7

After what seemed a lifetime to him McCoy turned and looked at him and Kirk saw the same calmness about the blue eyes he often saw when an officer was dying and he felt the hand that had been restraining him release him. That hand had also been somewhat supporting him and his first few steps were faltering. Half-way to the bed McCoy's raised hand stopped him and as he still himself from the frustration he felt he heard it. Heard what he had not been hearing before. He heard what McCoy had heard.

The exhaling breath of his friend was not a groan, not a struggle to breathe but a fight to say something. He looked at McCoy and saw him slowly nod, "Spock, I am going to let go of your hand now," Kirk slowly walked to stand right next to the bed and McCoy placed the long-fingered hand in his, "Jim is here now, Spock. He will be with you now." In the few seconds of silence he heard what McCoy had been listening to, Spock asking for him. With each exhaled breath he had been trying to say "Jim."

He wanted to squeeze the hand in his tighter than anything else in his life but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath then looked down at his friend, "Spock, Spock it's Jim. I, I am sorry I took so long to," the fingers in his hand suddenly tightened and Kirk found for a moment he was caught in a cauldron of emotions and fought to control them, "I, I want you to rest now. I will be right here till you wake up but I need you to get into a healing trance. I will be right here till you wake up and will get your report then. You need to rest now. I will be right beside the bed, Spock. I know you do not have physical contact to get into a healing trance but know I will be right here. I will be sitting right here beside you." There was a distinct squeeze from the fingers in his hand then a relaxation in them. As he watched Kirk saw his friend slip into the healing sleep he needed and saw McCoy give him a nod to confirm it.

Kirk was aware of his Chief Engineer standing to his side, "I'll be getting back to me bairns and Sulu has the chair, Sir." He nodded, he knew they were to get new orders soon and was confident that this crew would let him know what they were. He knew that any one of his senior bridge crew could easily take command and knew that Spock's idea of each taking a turn in the chair was to show them that he trusted their abilities. He knew he really did have the best crew not just in Star Fleet but in the whole Federation.

As he sat watching his friend sleep he wondered what he should say. How many times had this special being put his own life on the line for him? How many times had the Vulcan mind found that smallest of loopholes in the orders that could possibly have two meanings? With so much evidence against the likelihood of his doing anything but react what had made Spock believe that he had seen something? How could his friend be so certain when presented with all the facts that there had to have been something else? He knew Spock had seen him react first then think several times before, had often cautioned him about his reactions, so what was his logical reasoning this time? Had there been some sort of sublingual exchange in the look they had exchanged when he had beamed up under arrest and had been aware of two dark eyes looking into him that had made Spock go find what he had seen? Was it as Alliness had challenged Korpah about wanting to know the truth about his Captain or was there something more? Was it more than that Alliness had said, was it more than loyalty to him as his Captain? If it was out of loyalty to his Captain how did he deal with it?

By regulations he should reprimand Spock at least for how he had disobeyed orders. Granted the orders had said the crew and Spock had understood it to mean the collective and not the individual. Too many times his friend had used his linguistic skills to his own advantage, to their advantage; often pointing out the many ways what was said could have been understood, stating how the person speaking could have more carefully selected their words.

Kirk half-smiled as he looked at his Vulcan friend, how he would like to see, just once in his life, Spock get comfortable enough with his emotions and use of casual expression to tell somebody to go to hell. He had seen those moments when others would have quickly retorted with colorful expletives and Spock had calmly replied with his usual exactness.

From his office McCoy could see how his Captain, and his friend, was looking at Spock and momentarily envied that relationship. He only allowed himself to briefly dwell on it as it hurt too much to think that what he had, that special relationship he had with Spock, was what had been destroyed in making him hold on for so long. To the outsiders who saw them argue their relationship must have seemed like a battlefield a major conflict: control against impulsiveness, logic against emotion, seriousness against light-heartedness. He had seen how, at times, even Jim Kirk, had not fully understood how much he needed Spock to be in control, logical, and serious but he had seen in the Vulcan's dark eyes an understanding that he knew what was needed and gave it freely. Now that was gone and by his own doing. He had not only lied to Spock but had let him suffer, struggle when he need not have done so. He had no right to expect that relationship, that friendship, to still exist once Spock knew what he had done. How could it? How could the Vulcan see it as anything other than a** betrayal** of the oath he had taken to do no harm and of the trust that was so much a part of their relationship?

For a moment he thought of opening his special drawer and having a drink but decided against it. He had to do a report and needed a clear head. The bottle could wait. It could wait till after he had spoken with Spock. He would need it then. Right now he only wanted it. It would wait till he needed to forget what he would be told and rightly told. He would need it to numb the pain of the verification of the death of what was, what had been, between them. He would need it then to help him face seeing Spock on board the ship as a reminder to what was, to what he had ruined.

Carefully he read through the report for at least the third time. It was all accurate, all clinical, and one that the Vulcan would approve of. No emotionalism, no mention of his using a ploy to torment and keep his patient in pain: strictly medical facts. He looked at his last entry. Patient achieved Vulcan healing trance and a full recovery is expected. A full recovery for Spock. As a doctor that should be his main concern, his patient. He had felt a relief beyond description charge through him when he saw the way Spock was aware of Jim being there, of the way he relaxed into the healing trance. That had been his concern for his patient.

His patient or his friend? Again the thought of the bottle in the drawer came to him. All he needed was one sip to silence all the doubting questions. Just one.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n Been a few weeks of medical, veterinary, atmospheric, and socially chaotic madness but am s-l-o-w-l-y getting back to retyping these stories. Thanks for waiting and reading. Enjoy. **

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><p>His patient or his friend? Again the thought of the bottle in the drawer came to him. All he needed was one sip to silence all the doubting questions. Just one.<p>

Almost out of habit he started to reach for the drawer when a muscular hand gripped his wrist, "Ye'll nae find the answer in there, Leonard. Nae matter what ye woe may be the answer is nae in there, I can tell ye that. Whatever the problem tis best shared." slowly the Chief Engineer sat down and looked at him and McCoy knew the man knew him well enough to see beneath any facade he tried. "In there is a grand wee sight. Is there something ye nae have told us? For the Captain to be like that Mister Spock is fine, sleeping. He'll nae like what I did."

That admission made McCoy look at the Engineer, "What do you mean, Scotty?"

"Well, t'was what I said about the Enterprise to get the Captain back aboard and I overheated one circuit getting back that he said could nae be overheated. Did nae real damage but took a time to cool. I did a report for him but he'll nae be pleased."

"He'll like the report, Scotty. He'll understand why you said what you did to get Jim back on the ship."

"Aye, he most likely will say that they were logical. He's a deep thinker and ye nae really kin what he's thinking. But I know fer ce rtain he'd do fer us as he did fer the Captain. " for a moment the two men looked at each other and then at the two men in the other room, "He talks a good line about nae having emotions but what he does shows he does."

And the first of those emotions will be fury when he realizes I lied to him, McCoy thought to himself. Then will come the hatred when he realizes I am responsible for all the pain he has been in because of my lie. McCoy looked at the two men and knew he had to talk with Kirk, knew he would need Jim to be there when he confronted Spock. No, it would not so much be a confrontation as a confession but he would want Kirk there if not for his support then for Spock as the Vulcan would need a friend then.

"I best be getting back to me bairns, left Connors to find an error and I swear the lad can nae find his left foot at times but before he could nae find his left leg so he is improving.' McCoy saw a smile on the Engineer's face, "Ye will know what to do for them both, ye always do."

Always did, McCoy corrected in his mind. In all the years he had known Spock he had never thought to lie to him and maintain that lie and yet he had. There had been no real way for him to know that Jim would be back or when he would be back and yet he had kept telling his friend that Jim would be back soon. He had broken the unspoken trust the Vulcan had in him for being honest.

In the distance he heard faint and familiar voices but they meant nothing. Nothing could justify his having lied to Spock. All Scotty's words sounded good but did not excuse him for his actions. There was no absolution for him. Even the fact that Spock would now live, would recover and resume his duties, was no release from his guilt. One does not lie to a friend. One does not cause a friend the pain he caused his Vulcan friend. Inwardly he slowly steeled himself for when he would have to face the being who had always trusted him despite the banter they had about his being so emotional. Under all those spiels of him showing too much emotionalism McCoy knew was a respect he now no longer deserved. No matter what happened now he knew that he would have lost that respect, and that friend.

As he closed his eyes as waves of guilt continued to wash over and around him he became aware or words of the voices. Jim and Spock. He knew he should not be listening and yet he was oddly compelled.

"And that's how you came to be there and I am here. You just need to rest, Spock. You need."

"I need to see McCoy."

"Are you in pain? You should have told,"

"No, I just need to see McCoy. Can you,"

"I'll get him. Do you want me to,"

"I just need McCoy, Jim. You have a ship to run."

McCoy closed his eyes. Clearly Spock realized he had been lied to. What he had said about being his close friend started to shatter in his mind as he thought about how the Vulcan hated deception.

"I'll go get McCoy then go tell the crew how you are. I will let them know to contact McCoy first before visiting."

"Thank you, Captain."

McCoy had looked up as Kirk walked in, "He wants to see you, Bones."

"He'll be fine after about another week though I will keep him in for two. With that Vulcan stamina he will be fit enough for light duties then and after about two more weeks of moderate duties, and two weeks after that full duties. This is going by his current rate or recovery."

"Anything happen between you two I should know about? He clearly does not want me in there with the two of you."

For a few seconds McCoy thought of telling his friend, there was so much concern and compassion about the hazel eyes looking at him that he almost wanted to confess but it was too personal, too deep, too unforgiveable. "No, Jim. It will be about my treatment. Doctor patient confidentiality that outweighs Star Fleet."

Kirk had smiled that special smile that said he understood, "Then I'll leave you two to talk it over. I'll go up to the bridge and then my quarters." McCoy felt the gentle squeeze of Kirk's hand on his shoulder as he turned to leave, "If you need me you know where I'll be."

"We'll be fine, Jim."

Kirk nodded and walked away. Once the doors had closed McCoy closed his eyes and slowly shook his head muttering,"He'll be fine, Jim, but I do not know if we ever will be."


	9. Chapter 9

Coward. Coward. Coward. Coward. The word echoed in his head after Kirk had left. Deep inside of himself he felt a conflict unlike any he had experienced. He wanted to go in and be with his friend and yet he was to ashamed to ever have to face the Vulcan again.

"McCoy? At first McCoy thought it had been hearing his name that broke through his guilt. He had not expected Spock to call out for him and for a moment he just sat unsure if it were only wishful thinking.

"**Doctor McCoy, are you there**?" No, it had not been hearing his name but he the tone that had chilled him. How like a frightened child that usually authoritative and confident voice sounded and he was unaware of taking the twenty-eight steps to stand by the bed, nor was he conscious of gripping and reassuringly squeezing the long-fingered hand that was reaching out to him.

"Yes, I'm here, Spock. What is it? Are you in pain?"

The dark eyes looked steadily at him, into him, and McCoy found he could not look away. "Thanks to your usual high standard of treatment and the Vulcan mind rules I am not in pain but I am aware that something deeply troubles you. Might I ask what?"

_"__You might ask but I won't tell."_ Immediately flashed to his mind but there was something about how Spock was looking at him that let him know it was time for truth. "I," more lies raced through his head about how he could tell him is was any number of other things but those eyes demanded honesty, "I am afraid to tell you, Spock."

"What do you have to fear from telling me what troubles you? Am I the cause of your turmoil? If I am,"

"No, dammit, Spock it is nothing you did."

"But it is to do with me? You have done nothing to me that should cause you this pain. In fact I have much to thank you for as you assisted me in my recovery, you gave me the will to hold on while you, with the help of the others, were able to use what was discovered to get Jim back. I was aware of your presence, I heard your voice but I had no way of letting you know but you somehow knew for it was you who let me know that Jim would be coming back and gave me a reason to fight. It was,"

"**It was all a lie**, Spock. I had no certainty that Jim would be back. I had no idea when he would be back." the realization that Spock had heard him, had been aware of him being beside him, made him talk on to try to explain his reasoning, "I lied because I knew you would fight to hold on till you saw him, till you knew he really was physically back on his ship as its captain. **Dammit, I lied to you, Spock**. I, I lied and every time I told you that I knew it was a lie. I always thought of you as my unique close friend and yet I lied to you. I lied to my friend. I," the hand holding his tightened and McCoy closed his eyes.

"Look at me, Leonard." McCoy shook his head, it was going to be difficult enough to hear of his betrayal, of how he ruined that special honest relationship they had shared, without seeing the accusation in those dark eyes. Again the hand tightened in his, "Leonard, look at me."

Two dark eyes shone up at him with love, understanding, and an unexplainable warmth seemed to fill McCoy, "I consider you, Leonard Horatio McCoy, to be one of my closest friends. Those times you held my hand I could sense your caring yet there was something else I could not comprehend. I now realize that was your totally illogical and most uncalled for self-crucifixion. I know that whatever you did you did because of our friendship. I know you would never lie to me. Your actions in keeping me believing in Jim's status were the correct ones. Your understanding of my need to see for myself that he was healthy and back in command of his ship reflects not only your exceptional skills as a doctor but also your dedication to and respect for me as a friend. You must stop your feelings of guilt for you have nothing to be guilty for. I am greatly honoured that you consider me a friend."

The eyes and usually inexpressive face showed all was forgiven, that his Vulcan friend had understood and accepted his actions. For just a few moments McCoy saw the Human side of his friend and watched as it momentarily was in total agreement with the Vulcan façade that hid it. Only when he nodded did the hand holding his relax and he gently placed it back on the bed. "Thank you, Spock. You have no idea what your understanding means to me. I was, I was,"

"I believe you were about to tell me of your need to go get some much needed sleep so that you can later explain to me what your future administrations to me will be. You must know I fully expect and accept that you have at least six hundred and seventy-two standard hours of treatment and rehabilitation planned to subject me to."

McCoy smiled, damned Vulcan knew him too well. "I will tell M'Benga that you will sleep as well. I will bring you a good breakfast tomorrow. Have a good sleep, Mister Spock."

There was just a shadow of a smile about the eyes that looked back at him, indications that the Vulcan knew the professional role was a charade, "Thank you and you have a good sleep as well, Doctor McCoy." McCoy nodded as he left to find M'Benga to keep an eye on Spock then went to his quarters, seeming to be asleep before he had even found a comfortable position on his bunk.

As Kirk lay on his bunk he realized he was isolated again. He was on this side of the door and just on the other side of that door life aboard the ship went on as usual. The crew would all be doing their duties. No, it was not _the ship_ nor _the crew_. This was **his ship** and** his crew**.

Sleep was starting to claim him when he again heard what Spock had said when he had visited him and he had told the Vulcan how isolated he had felt. _"Jim, you were only physically isolated. We could not reach you physically but you were never isolated from our thoughts, nor from our hearts."_ At the time he had waited for Spock to mention how the heart was merely a muscle in the body and incapable of such feats but those steady dark eyes had seen into him just as he had seen into the deep part of his Vulcan friend that few saw.

"You were never isolated from our thoughts, nor from our hearts, you were never isolated from our thoughts, nor from our hearts." the words were like a lullaby that let him slide into a deep sleep.

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><p><strong>An That's another one done. ****Hope you enjoyed it. ****Will most likely start retying the next one next week as got a busy week coming up. **


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